Sunday, January 2, 2011

New Year Promises

There seems to be a negative connotation associated with New Years resolutions. Perhaps it's because every January, regular gym-goers are forced to share a packed gym with resolutioners, and alcohol and tobacco sales hit their yearly low until everything goes back to normal in February. I won't deny it (I'ma straight ridah), I make half-hearted resolutions each year, which are kept for the most part.

The difference between mine and most others is that they're easy to stick to. Sure, I'd love to quit smoking, lose weight, get to work on time every day, but I'm also a realist. My resolutions are silly, and don't necessarily make my life or anyone else's better. But goals are always good, right? No matter how big or small.

Without further ado, in 2011, I promise to:
  • Always eat dinner at the dinner table. I have a $2,000 dining set holding all my junk mail, empty coffee mugs and car keys. I should put it to better use.
  • Recycle. Just a no brainer. I've already stopped putting non-recyclable items in the big blue bin, now it's time to stop putting recyclable items in the big black bin.
  • Stop buying new clothes when I run out of clean ones. It's shameful how bad I was about this in the past. The Salvation Army gets a quarterly donation of clothes from me, which is great, but I need to keep some money in my wallet and stop being so lazy about laundry.
  • Not watch TV when there's nothing interesting on. I'm guilty of watching QVC when there's nothing else on sometimes just so I can sit and look at the glowing screen. Yet the stack of books I've been meaning to read keep collecting dust.
  • Finish that gallon of milk I bought, or at least open it, before it expires. I waste milk too much.
  • Leave my ex alone. For six years he's been my loyal sidekick, whether we're screwing or not. For five years he's been trying to marry me, and for five years I've kept him at arm's length. I recently did something kinda bad, and in the past, he'd forgive me, and the cycle repeats. If I leave him alone, maybe he'll move on and be happy with a girl that deserves him.
  • Stop sending my assistant out for coffee every morning. I've got legs, and lord knows I need the exercise. I'll get it my damn self.
  • Return all calls and emails, whether personal or professional, in a timely manner. By far my friends' and colleagues' biggest pet peeve about me. And probably the hardest one to stick to.
  • Be a little more patient with stupid people. I take it back, this one will be the hardest. You have to understand what kind of people I deal with on a daily basis in order to fully grasp the difficulty of keeping this promise. I used to be such a sweet girl. Now people are kind of afraid to even approach me because they don't want to see my bitchface. Gotta be nicer.
Wow, that list is kind of long. And not all so easy. Crap, what did I just get myself into?